This one’s for you Motss..a memoir

Well…now this is something I have been longing to give you since…umm.. you were born and was brought home wrapped in a soft cloth...but I pulled myself waiting to create more of good memories and re-relishing those moments of joy. And I guess it’s time as I have no idea when we shall meet next to cherish the childhood, teenage and youthfulness we had secretly enjoyed together. Yesterday night I had this weird dream that both of us were traveling towards our respective destinations in the same train but separate coaches. When suddenly the coaches had to demagnatised to move forward in different directions. There we meet in the middle of the time to bid goodbye…as if…we won’t see each other again…we had tears and didn’t say anything! Strange! Isn’t it?

The dream poured energy and words into me to write the letter that had been longing to be penned down.

Do you remember how I stared at the little you when you were first brought home? You were the first baby I saw in my till then life and how exciting it was for me to touch your tiny fingers and soft nails. “When will she grow up,” I asked your Mom. “It will take years,” she said. “But how?” I queried again. “Like this?,” I asked lifting my toes above, she nodded. “Why doesn’t she open her eyes?” “Can I take her upstairs?” (Our beautiful home where we lived together) I didn’t know then that you were going to be revengeful for my sticky questions after a few years time. You grew up to a very loud, hypersensitive, infantile duck who loved to dance, act and cry all the time, the crying sound that was loud enough to cross all borders of our long walled home only to reach to my classroom in the nearby school. “Oh! Guddu is crying again.” I thought while sharpening my pencil. I used to call you Guddu, shifting to Ankita and finally to Motss making you feel more loved.

And suddenly I hear my teacher looking for girl called ‘Tina’ . I froze! “How on Earth does she know my nick name?” I wondered and decided not to respond to the teacher. Actually I felt really shy thinking that classmates would tease me with my nick name. But after the ceaseless announcements I moused out the class to give myself a shocking surprise! It was you with red little sniffing nose holding your Mom’s hand. “She wanted to see you and play with you?” “Whatt!” I screamed to myself. I felt so embarrassed (after all even I was a kid then) taking you towards the play ground in mid of my class. Thatt was your first revenge.

When we changed the school you joined then singing group and I made you realise how terrible you sing and after years of non-stop crying your throat cleared itself to a rejuvenated voice now. Yes, you sing pretty well now..still out of accent but better (wink) and your beautiful expression-full dance will be missed for sure dear. Dare you not forget how you entangled my lovely new water bottle with yours and threw it out of the school bus to break it into two under the tyres? I wanted to kill you then, but your face was already dead with horror. Lol you were afraid of me still you wanted to be with me. Thatt was your second revenge.

Remember our first and only fight when we shouted at each other standing in the balcony? Am glad it never happened again otherwise my hands would have got bloodied. The vocational library of ours where we used to rent books for free! Courtesy to the grandest Pa of your’s. Still we managed enough cash to catch a rickshaw and tumble down to the nearby restaurant and have the first party together. Our new year parties arranged for each member of the family in a way inspired you to manage elegant events in future.

I still don’t know why you changed your means of communication to school from bus to autorickshaw. Thatt was your third revenge. Bus stop was so much fun ya. And auto rickshaw..don’t forget once you had fallen down after your water bottle did from the rick, we shouted, “bhaiya ladki gir gai, ladki gir gai” and what was that! I saw you walking towards the bus with the conductor holding your hand. You were carried to school by bus.

I won’t detail about the ‘suno suno tring tring tring’ era and the ‘Kammo’ dance we did everyday without fail in our vacations. But the ball dance on ‘ek ladki bheegi bhagi si’ has been best of all. You almost break my bones while dancing. And oh! The painting classes we used to go every Saturday and Sunday reminds me of the dog that almost hugged you down on the street and the anti-mosquito ointment you used to apply right after entering the classes (lol, most sensitive kid turned into the most defective piece of the family) I never told you about how choked I felt with laughter when you carried that weird multicoloured umbrella clipped on top of your head messing up all your hair, it looked funny really. Then our commonly shared hobby of stickers and cards collection was a perfect partnership wasn’t it? And your boogie-woogie dance classes made every kid in the colony drool over you.Do I need to mention about you falling every now and then from anywhere and everywhere you go. Don’t know how much you remember; hope these memories would give a knock.

Before we entered into our well-heeled life, it was Jagjeet singh who accompanied both of us in our dreamy teenage, we were crazy for him, remember? Am sorry for those sleepy late nights when I always slept leaving you on your own to finish the movie of my choice. But am not sorry for your teary sniffs and whimpers you exhaled while watching an emotional movie. Hmpf you used to take it all personally and fill the handkerchief with mucous.

Then came the times of never turning back and we walked ahead in our career. Though we couldn’t make many memories after that but the important times of need were shared. I am truly thankful for being beside me at the time of Bhaiya and my wedding, will always remember this. But surely we have a beautiful life ahead to explore more fun together. So what if we are married, we shall plan out vacations with our misters, alright?

I used to talk about you to my friends saying that you were my better half, there was always this thread of concerned love that tied us regardless of the far away location. Though there were people in the surrounding who took us as foibles, but we maintained it secretly. Our intensity of care and share we shared made people jealous but somehow it bruised me a bit extra to tolerate and I very very reluctantly withdrew myself to a certain level. But writing is something no one can stop me from and I can write an epic on our tightfistedness. I seldom express but you are fondly loved by me, my tears said this when you were married off and Abhi wiped my face after we returned home. Thatt was your last revenge.

Well there’s something I want to confess that I myself realized very late is that I never wanted to share you with anyone. May be because I never had a younger sister and we were more of like sises. That was the reason I never liked you going to neighborhood friend to play and that was also the reason I never liked many other things that are unexplainable for me here. But now I can see you well secured in the hands of a gentleman whose eyes are filled with true love. Yuvraj, if you ever read this, I have to say just one thing, “She is precious and a very good human being, be with her is all what she would ask you for.”

I cherish those days with weepy eyes knowing that they won’t come back ever again, nor do we have enough videos and photographs to keep it safe. Confiding everything here in written, I guess will take us to the long lost journey after we have walked past a long path to future of post marriage, youthlessness, wrinkled, bald/ snowy hair (lol) and more experienced.

You will be always loved, God Bless!!

And yeah! how could I forget Happy Friendship's Day dear!

cheers..